Veronika's Blog Spot

2010-03-22T01:22:00.001-07:00

Original Video - More videos at TinyPic

"Shadows" freeverse

2010-02-12T10:49:00.000-08:00

I'm Moving to Facebook!

2010-01-13T16:18:00.000-08:00

Yup. My Facebook page will be the one I will be updating. I'll still try to update this one as much as I can, but I already have new music over there and it's much easier to keep track of, share videos and download free mp3s off of, so be sure to add my page :)

Veronika Stokes on Facebook

The store is now up and running with custom artwork by Desan21 and yours truly

2009-12-13T01:36:00.000-08:00

Check it out :)

create & buy custom products at Zazzle

"The Road to Riches"

2009-10-14T14:46:00.001-07:00

About the EP I'm Working on...

2009-09-09T20:34:00.000-07:00

The tentative title's going to be "Psychoanalysis" and it's probably going to be another free download. I've been getting good feedback on having Sinful on soundclick, so I might just do that again and maybe upload it as a zip file as well. Let me know if you have any other suggestions for download that you'd like.

The new tracks are going to be dope. I have a few collabs that are downright bananas, so I think you guys are going to be in for quite a nice suprise :) I'll keep you guys updated as we go.

Adventures at Science Drive part I

2009-09-04T19:43:00.000-07:00

Adventures at Science Drive: The Animals at VASD

The apartment complex I live in is called "The Villages at Science Drive (VASD)" and since move in, I've been hearing a dog barking. VASD specifies in the lease that pets are strictly prohibited, but I'm such an animal lover, that I'd smile whenever I would hear the dog bark.

So it became an adventure. Whenever I would hear it bark, I'd go outside to see if I could catch a glimpse because I've had a feling that it's a small dog. I've narrowed the sound down to my building, but couldn't tell whether it was on my floor or below (I'm on the top floor).

Tonight, while walking to my building from my car, I saw a guy walking around the pond and sure enough, there was the dog. He waved at me, I waved back and continued on my way for a few steps then realized really wanted to pet the dog lol So I ask him if can pet his dog and he says sure, then turns around and walks toward me. I ask him all the standard questions and learn that the dog's name is Dutchess (which I think is a downright adorable name) and he doesn't know what breed she is because she's a rescue, but the people said that she's probably a pitbull/chocolate lab. Dutchess was very well behaved, only jumped on me once, and was a cute little thing.

I told him that I hope VASD lets him keep her and he said that they told him he could have a dog, but then didn't say anything when he was signing the lease.

Long story short: after two weeks of living in my apartment, I finally met the dog and it made my night :)

On another note, we had to return my rescue dog, Vinny, because he was terriblly behaved and untrainable. We named him after Vincent Van Gogh because part of hs ear was missingwhen we got him.

There is also a black cat roaming around, but I haven't seen who owns that little guy. He looks fed and taken care of though, so I don't think it's a stray.

New! Video Collab

2009-08-31T19:33:00.000-07:00

my youtube url's www.youtube.com/veronikastokes

my lyrics:

It’s Ronny and Six, i.e. sex for your ears
I’m only showing above my neck and it’s setting off the leers
Let it be said for years, you dress to impress the queers
Thinking cutting edge fashion is shredding a suit with shears

You losers are too concerned with movies you don’t return
Execs collecting checks from stupids and insecures
In lieu of a better term, they’re looting off what you’ve learned
Cause the mindless are timeless to nuisances of the earth

Last Fall, I saw a weak emcee at last call
Shot him off his high horse; he proceeded to fall
Brought his knees to a crawl as he was leaving the brawl
Then his mind was too open, it needed some walls

So I’m here to change the scenery like leaves in the Fall
Got your boyfriend telling me, “I’ll leave when she calls”
Cause he knows that I’m all he wants
And Greedy will call
So I’m leaving the ball at that
Proceed as you want

Thanks for peepin'

:)

An Overdue Introduction: Desan21

2009-08-24T12:49:00.000-07:00

My buddy Desan21, Switz graffiti writer from the Stilbaz and IKS crews, did original character sketches which I finished by coloring, touching up and shading to create the designs for the merchandise in my store. Desan also did the "Veronika Stokes" graffiti tag. You can check out our store at www.zazzle.com/veronikastokes

Desan is a very talented and multi-dimensional artist and creates great artwork with all sorts of mediums, ranging from using photoshop on the computer to pencil on paper; from marker on canvas to spray paint on walls.

For more of Desan21's artwork, check him out at desan21.deviantart.com and www.myspace.com/desan21

Also, let me know if you'd like some stickers, along with the address to send them to. My email's veronikastokes@gmail.com

And if you do order any of my merchandise and/or stickers, be sure to take some pictures of where you put/wear them. I get a kick out of seeing what you guys come up with :)

Movin' on up (and new mixtape)

2009-08-23T17:39:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, I just moved into my very first apartment yesterday and am loving it! Before this, the only roommate experiences I've had were overnight sports camps for a week at a time. I'm getting along just fine with my roommates, we're waiting to meet the one that has been living here, and think it's going to be a very fun year.

School starts for UCF, which most of the people here attend, but my classes begin the 31st.

Today I worked on my room (I'll post up the final pictures when it's all set up), went to a club fair at UCF with my roommates (where I got free tickets to a wakeboarding competition the 29th), came back to the apartment, set up the internet and blogged.

One of my roommates goes out a lot and is a night owl like I am. She invited me to go with her and her friends to a bar later tonight, but I might take a raincheck on that. I thought it was nice that she asked me though :)

As far as music's concerned, I've been invited to jump on a few more mixtapes and collabs, so those should be up in a month or so.

I was recently on the mixtape "The Takeover Vol. 6: The War Lab Forums Edition."

Free Download links:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FVH3K9M0
http://sharefileupload.com/files/0G6MISP0/Final.zip

"DJ Mynd Tek teams up with emcees off of the forums on the website WarLab.com. WarLab.com is a website created by the underground rapper, cult-leader: DZK. The forums house many talented and up and coming emcees, and this mixtape is to help expose the artists. Feel free to review, & post on your blogs, & websites!" - DJ Mynd Tek

* Tracklist:*
01 DJ Mynd Tek - Intro
02 Q oNe A Ft. Reespekt - Hip-Hop
03 Cryptic Wisdom - I'm an Animal (Prod. Rapitfly)
04 Subliminal - My Last Hope
05 J. Rambo - A Million Miles
06 Noble Ft. Infinite Skillz - Unbelievable (Prod. The Burning German)
07 Rishi P Ft. J High & Devize - Careless Whispers
08 Sancho The Kid - Money Getter (Prod. T-Mac)
09 Subliminal Ft. Ends - Assassins
10 L-Fav Ent. Ft. Kane - Haterade
11 Veronika Ft. G.E.3.K - Killing Me Softly
12 DL Murray - Thrifty
13 DJ Mynd Tek - Interlude
14 Crispy Ft. Reespekt - Life in the Lime Light (Prod. K.A.)
15 Subliminal Ft. Jay Red & J. Rambo - Close to Me
16 Q oNe A Ft. Lady Essence - Lately (Prod. Bad Abbot)
17 Noble, B-Leave, Enygma - How We Ball
18 O.C.D. - Pussies
19 Blastermann - A Worlds End
20 DJ Mynd Tek - Outro
Coast2Coast Mixtape DJs Spotlight
21. Tone Trump - Wifey
22. Rox - Danger
23. Illdotlogic - Hydroplane

I haven't listened to all of it yet, but I like a lot of Cryptic Wisdom and Subliminal's stuff. Subliminal's one of the collabs I'm going to record next, too. Enjoy :)

New Website

2009-08-10T10:11:00.000-07:00

www.reverbnation.com/veronikastokes

check it out :)

There may have been a crime

2009-08-09T13:59:00.000-07:00

I was visiting my aunt in Vero yesterday and we all decided to head down to the beach for an evening picnic. Some of my uncle's family joined us, too. After all was said and done, there was 9 of us and maybe 2 other couples on the entire beach since it's private.

It was a calm, quiet evening and then Timmy, who used to run a highend security business, noticed that there was a helicopter circling around about a half mile from us. He told us that when the helicopter does circles like that, the're either searching for something/someone or surveying an area. After a minute or two, the helicopter started making sharper turns and smaller circles.

Then he started coming closer to the beach and gradually lower.

We started joking about it, asking if anyone's done anything illegal lately but then it kept getting closer until it was almost directly above us. It hovered for a bit, then started circling again. Right above where we were sitting!

After a few minutes, it turnedback to the area it had initially been and turned on its search light.

We didn't see a story about anything going on in the area, but it was an interesting scenario. I was kind of hoping it would have landed the beach, but it didn't :(

Oh, we also saved a baby sea turtle from a crab :)

Online Poker

2009-08-04T14:23:00.000-07:00

I was IMing my friend Sean and he told me about this online poker site, more like an application and I am hooked! You can play with fake or real money and there are a bunch of tables for each of the games.

Even though I'm not that great online, it is very fun. When I gambled away all my fake money, they restocked me :)

The site's PokerStars.com and it's easy for your friends to get together on one table since most of them have open seats.

See you there :)

My birthday

2009-07-24T21:05:00.000-07:00

... was today. I didn't do much because I had to work, but I did receive a bunch of lovely calls, cards, texts and emails throughout the day which made me very happy. Thanks to everyone for doing that :)

On the agenda for tomorrow's festivities, I'm dragging John (friend) and Ryan (friend) to see "I Love You, Beth Cooper" before I head off to work. After work, I might check out the clubs in downtown Orlando.

Sunday's the family celebration. I'm not exactly sure what we're doing, but it sounds like lunch, zoo (I love animals lol) and beach (New Smyrna).

In August, I'm visiting family and friends in CT and NY, so I'll be partying with friends in CT for the majority of my stay lol

My brother has a day of celebration planned for August 18th when I'm in NY, then I might be having dinner with a friend of mine in Manhattan later.

So let the celebration begin! 19 may not be a milestone birthday, but it's still a birthday dammit ;)

Pictures will follow

It was a day of arts and crafts

2009-07-15T16:41:00.000-07:00

A buddy of mine (www.myspace.com/sliksta) on the music forum I'm on created a paper doll of one of the artists, FaT (who you can hear on my album) and so I tried to put it together. Leave it to the female to assemble it lol Here's my Jake, FaT, doll (click on the pic to enlarge):

After that, I wrote for a few hours. I'm working on a children's book :)

Now I'm just hanging out and am about to read or draw for a bit. I know, what an exciting life I have lol

Talk to you guys later

Sinful artwork inside the cd

2009-07-14T19:42:00.000-07:00

Here's what the pressed cd looks like (click on pics to see a larger view):

Comic Strip "The Adventures of Veronika Stokes"

2009-07-13T00:49:00.000-07:00

My buddy Sliksta (www.myspace.com/sliksta) drew this for me and I got a kick out of it:

http://i26.tinypic.com/dqgpvo.jpg

the image is too big for blogspot, so I had to link it

Alex had a birthday

2009-07-12T02:46:00.000-07:00

My brother, Alex, turns 22 today. Unfortunately, I won't be in NY (where he lives) until August, so I'm sending him a card and Starbucks gift card. I figured that everyone enjoys a funny card and he does like his Starbucks :)

Also on the agenda for today is going to New Smyrna beach, which I keep thinking I'm mispelling. I haven't been there before, but I've heard some good things about it, so I'm looking foward to it.

I should be getting my new apartment number and roommates' info on either Monday or Tuesday. I'm beyong excitement at this point. I'm ready to move in! I am curious who they room me with though. I'm sure we'll all get along just fine, in any case.

Stay tuned and...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to every July baby out there!

Sinful's here!

2009-07-11T23:38:00.000-07:00

After months and months of hard work and hard earned money have been spent, the album is finally finished!

Sinful is now available for free download at www.soundclick.com/veronikastokes so be sure to grab yourselves some tracks :)

I haven't found or done anything worth mentioning lately, so I haven't been blogging, but I realized today that one man's bore may be another's interest so I'm going to start blogging again.

Tonight I played Uno (awesome card game) for about 2 hours with my parents, then went out to the gas station because I wanted a soda.

This slightly scruffy guy, buying beer, in back of me starts up conversation by asking if I was buying a pepsi (which I was) then proceeds to invite me to hang out and drink beer on the dock in Windermere (where he lives). I didn't mind conversing because he was decent looking and I enjoyed the company, but I told them (as we left the store, he introduced me to his friend) that I had an early morning, they told me they'd like to see me again (called me "gorgeous" :) so I took the 1st guy's card and we went our seperate ways.

Aside from sounding like a classic prelude to rape, it was rather nice to have some polite, unexpected company for a few minutes. At the risk of sounding naive, a quiet night hanging out on the Windermere docks sounded wonderful.

It's a shame we can't trust anyone :/

My First Show

2009-06-21T18:41:00.000-07:00

I got there early, but spent 20 minutes looking for parking. After [wrongfully] turning onto a packed one way street and going up the "exit" ramp in the parking garage, I finally found a spot right across from the bar.

Everyone was friendly and one of the girls, Kelly, had her dog, Weasel, who was the sweetest little guy. The girls call Sundays "Fun day Sundays" which I thought was a cute way to look at it lol

I opened the night with my set and, despite forgetting a few lyrics, had a wonderful time.

The guys (and girl) from SGB'z (www.myspace.com/sbgztheband) were there to check out the show and were very supportive of my set. I felt like an actual hiphop artist haha they were listening intently, shouting stuff out like "we'll fix that!" when I prefaced "Married Jane" by saying that I didn't smoke, etc. One of them got up and gave me a high five after "Row your Boat" haha I loved it.

I forgot to stick my stickers, but I'm planning on going on a sticking soree around town. Pictures will follow :)

Sinful tracklist

2009-06-21T17:59:00.000-07:00

Sorry this is a little late guys...

1 Pandora freeverse
2 Killing Me Softly ft. Troy Murray
3 Married Jane ft. Riggs and Epitaph
4 Love, Love ft. LadyE
5 Row your Boat
6 Something More ft Act One
7 As the World Burns ft. Doc Rizk
8 Down and Out
9 Heroin ft. Steven Rufe on guitar
10 The Pickup
11 Flex Factor: Nice Krispy’s drunken phone call
12 Talking to Myself freeverse
13 Turn Me Up ft. FaT
14 Momma’s Boy ft. Bravado
15 The Adventures of Larry and Tina (Wax cover)
16 Flex Factor outro

17 (bonus track) Minute by minute

Desires

2009-06-20T00:05:00.000-07:00

Why do we seem to waste our life judging and being critical of others? Why do we focus on what we don't have or what we aren't? Because we, as humans, are constantly looking for change and improvement. However, when our desires are left without the drive and action to satisfy them, the negativity overwhelms us and that's where the criticism comes in.

The same principle can be applied to explain reasons such as why movies are more important than books. Desire: entertainment/relish in a specific fantasy. Difference: books require reading, vizualization, time, vocabulary skills, focus on some level, etc. whereas movies are mindless. All you need to do is stare at a screen and pay a little attention.

Warlab's Top 100

2009-06-19T14:33:00.000-07:00

A guy on the forum I'm on, WarLab.com/forum, created a "War Lab's Top 100 Songs" for his site, WJBX Ventrilo Gaming Radio, and I got 3 spots on it :) Here's what he said for mine:

#54. Married Jane by Veronika Stokes featuring Riggs
Album: Sinful
Track#: 2
Year: 2009
Link: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=885469&songID=7503998
Comments: This song is just ridiculous. Many thought this song reminded them of "I'm So High" until Veronkia packed the lyrics into this. The flow is just crazy and the hook is just amazing. Veronika just all over the spectrum on this song and does just about everything on this song.

#49. Love Love by Lady E featuring Veronika Stokes
Album: Unknown Album
Track#: 0
Year: 2009
Link: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=885469&songID=7504021
Comments: Ever go to a bar and hear a piano playing in the background like your in an old 50s movie in the big city? This is one of those beats. This seems like one of those songs where you see the artists in the background telling a story in black in white as it happens in the foreground. Lady E and Veronika Stokes bring this different song to the top 100 which is different and cool.

#3. As The World Turns by Veronika Stokes featuring Doc Rizk
Album: Sinful
Track#: 1
Year: 2009
Link: http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=885469&songID=7269833
Comments: The beat on this song is very simple but it gets the job done. This song makes you want to go fight someone. Veronika follows the beat in an odd way but it somehow sounds good. Doc Rizk brings the song together with a hard feel and some smooth rhyming.

:)

Cliche Complaint

2009-06-15T09:35:00.000-07:00

I got an email today from an exec at "Wife Swap" regarding submitting my family for a "rap star" episode. Granted, I'm over 17 and am not going to be living at home for much longer, so my chances of actually getting on were slim to none. Interested in who they were contacing, I started browsing through their comments and came across this little girl who looked not a day older than 10. She "raps," but badly and obviously she doesn't write any of her stuff, mix it, promote herself, etc. In other words, she's just a face and a voice. Yet, she has a bunch of videos on her page showing her performing, doing magazine shoots, etc. I would post up her page, but I don't support people like that, so a description'll suffice.

This annoys me because I, and a bunch of people I know via forums and whatnot, write our own stuff, master it, do our own promo and are a million times better than the gimmicks and most of the rappers that are signed and famous. On the last point, I'm talking more about the people I know than myself because I don't think I'm better than most of the industry rappers. Even with that said, I do consider myself better than at least 1/3 of them and about 75% of the fuckers that currently get radio play.

They say that we should stop complaining about the rappers we don't like, and put the efforts toward supporting emcees we do, but I need to vent dammit!

I remember when I was about 11ish and my parents were arguing about money, so I turn on the radio because I needed a pickmeup. Some song comes on blabbing about ice and jewels, etc. and I practically punched the damn thing off. That was the LAST thing I wanted to hear about when my family was going through shit. Reflecting on it leads me to wonder why the hell this shit is even popular in a recession? I'd imagine that people wouldn't want to hear about what they don't have when they're frustrated as is.

I know it's probably one of the most prevalent trains of opinion within the underground community (and even in general), but this really annoyed me today, so I figured I'd write about it.

I'm moving... again :)

2009-06-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

Yup, I leased an apartent a few days ago and am very excited to be living on my own, with roommates and everything :) It's pretty exciting! I don't move in until late August, but I'll take some pictures and put them up here when I do :)

Counting our blessings

2009-06-06T16:42:00.000-07:00

I was speaking with a coworker at my job today when my manager came up to us and asked her if she wanted to go home early. She said she didn't want to, so I volunteered and he let me go. I asked her if she was sure because I didn't want to steal her opportunity and she told me that she needed the money for a new cell because her niece drooled on it and broke it (apparently lg phones are pretty sensitive).

On my way home, I started thinking about my drive and how leaving early was probably killing my work ethic. That made me reflect on all of the ways I've been fortunate in life. I don't have to pay for virtually anything, my parents are going to pay for my new apartment, they've given me the option to go to private schools and top rate colleges if I wanted to (and got in), etc.

At this point, I'm starting to have a major epiphany (not a good one) and come to the conclusion that, while I'm a humble and generally hard working person, I'm spoiled. A few people who have heard my situation and aren't as lucky have told me as much.

This bothered me, partly due to the stigma of mommy and daddy paying for everything.

But the fact of the matter is I'm a pretty humble person with strong morals and try to help out whenever I can. I'm a firm believer in little acts of kindness, but don't pay attention to if karma's coming around. I have my flaws, too, and some people like me as some people dislike me, but they're balanced out by my good qualities.

So am I supposed to feel guilty for being fortunate to have parents who can and will provide me with a little more than some others? Further, because of my situation, should I step aside to let others take open opportunities that I could have gotten?

No. I'm competitive and simply don't have loyalty, nor do I need to, to people I don't know.

The bottom line is, being selfish (putting one's needs above another's and focusing on their own self) isn't necessarily a bad thing. It becomes one when it causes other people pain.

M.I.A.

2009-06-05T11:27:00.000-07:00

I've been around, but not online for a few days, so I haven't gotten around to blogging that much lately.

I'm leasing an apartment and moving in the fall which I am VERY very excited about. I'm going to have roommates and the whole sha-bang. Pictures will come once I check the place out :)

For a reminder, tickets for the June 21st show are on sale now and I still have some free stickers if you guys want some

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

Tickets are on sale now!

2009-06-01T07:48:00.000-07:00

Tickets for the June 21st show at Central Station Rock Bar in Orlando are now on sale!

With each ticket you purchase, you will be entered into a drawing for a copy of my album "Sinful," Veronika Stokes stickers, and possibly other merchandise from the other bands performing. I'm working on getting together a basket. If, for some reason, you can't make it, you will still be able to claim your prize with the address you provide.

Tickets are $8 each and have two methods for purchase:

Paypal $8 per ticket to veronikastokes@gmail.com

Mail the cash payment (contact me for the address)

Like my music? Want to see some live hiphop entertainment? Do you like freebies? Good. Grab some tickets and bring a friend to the show for a fun night out :)

Want some free stickers?

2009-05-29T22:10:00.000-07:00

I just got my stickers in (tag done by my boy desan21) and am giving them out for free

Just email your address to veronikastokes@gmail.com and I'll send them right over :)

Don't forget to take pictures of where you stick them and send them to veronikastokes@gmail.com as well

... bodies are fair game lol ;)

here's what they look like:

Confirmed for June 21st Show: Chugging Contest

2009-05-29T07:39:00.000-07:00

Yup, I spoke with the manager and she's all for it, so make sure you bring your id with you :)

I'll be doing two 1 v 1 rounds at the end of my set and the winner of each round will get a copy of my album "Sinful" (which is currently being pressed) and stickers

I'm working with the other artists to get a prize basket that we'll give away as a prize at the end of the show. That contest is still in the works, but in the meanwhile...

start honing your chugging skills, drunkies ;)

Daschaunds

2009-05-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

Daschaunds are adorable and I got to pet 4 this past weekend haha they make my day :) I haven't decided whether that reflects upon my love for cute animals or uneventfullness of my life, but I'm okay if it's a bit of both :)

Sinful Sunday's here!

2009-05-24T10:04:00.000-07:00

Well, before we officially go into Sinful Sunday, I should explain what it is lol

Every Sunday, I will be posting a freeverse or music related video

Each week, I'll be posting one of your videos as well to get your thoughts or music out there. The video can be of anything regarding music, you don't have to perform any or even be a musician. I'd just like to hear your thoughts regarding music. Songs are welcome, as well :)

Just send the video to veronikastokes@gmail.com before 10pm Saturday

Today's video is of my engineer playing the guitar during our session. Enjoy :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4svwVO2qRE

Video: studio and new song

2009-05-22T22:07:00.000-07:00

Hey I got some recording done today and decided to record a few clips. More to come :)

See me perform at Central Station Rock Bar on June 21st!

2009-05-21T10:16:00.001-07:00

6/20/2009 4:30 PM at Central Station Rock Bar

100 E Central Blvd, Orlando, Florida 32801

Cost: $8 in advance

Like my music? Want to finally meet me in person and check out what I’m all about? Want a great show, great freebies and an overall great night out at a cheap price? Good, grab yourself a pair of tickets, and bring a friend. You can get them as soon as they go on sale June 1st!

See you there :)

"If you're good at something, never do it for free"

2009-05-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

The concept of valuing one’s own worth has been illustrated in many popular sayings, including, “If you do something well, never do it for free” which has caused some controversy along the lines of feminists, charity, etc.

Personally, I tend to agree with the advice, but believe that the idea extends to deeper levels of humanity, in addition to monetary value. For instance, if you’re a talented singer and admire a certain artist who you’ve been wanting to collab with, then collabing without charge isn’t necessarily “for free” because you’re getting the joy of working and having a song with an artist that you admire. The barter system is another exception. I’ll do your mixtape artwork if I get a spot on it, etc.

However, I think that all of these trades must be of equal value, or greater in your favor, because otherwise you’d be getting the short end of the stick.

In any context, success always comes down to how much you value yourself. A lot of it has to do more with presenting your best qualities rather than impressing or trying to figure out what the other person wants. I’ve found that if you love yourself for exactly who you are then people will see your best qualities and that often leads to success. Bosses will see you as a great employee, love interests will see you as a great partner, peers will be able to see you as a great friend, but most importantly, people will want to be around you if you like you because that makes them feel good about themselves as well.

Video: Story time 1st verse

2009-05-17T00:09:00.000-07:00

The audio's pretty low, so you might want to turn your speaker volume up

Lyrics:

Living by the minute
Sighs slipped out of her silent eyes
Crying out the lie that dripped onto her thigh
Trusting commitment
But her husband wasn't into it
She was in love, and he was, too- a little bit
Didn't really know what he wanted, he just went with it
Figured it'd be better if he let her, cause she's living in
The vivid image of her perfect life as a working wife
Who'd turn the time into memories
Tryna please a certain entity
She was alive
Spinning on the grass like she'd never felt the high
Doesn't care about him now as he's sitting on the side
He couldn't give her what she wanted, but he tried
Every single night, he would wonder why she hides
But soon she grew keen to his equanimity
Then discovered it was something that she'd rather not see
So she turned the other cheek
Focused on her lovers need
Thinking all men all the same
And only one way to please

The full song will be on the album, so stay tuned :)

Album Cover

2009-05-16T11:10:00.002-07:00

Hey everyone! This is what I've finally decided for a cover. I made it with photoshop and my boy Desan illustrated the character for me to color.

What exactly is it?

2009-05-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

People use many means to reach a happiness that differs from person to person. Though certain trends regarding one's achievement of happiness emerge, such as extensive amounts of money, watching something beautiful and being with a loved one, the question remains: why do we find happiness in the things that we do and what compels us to pursue it in the ways we do?
I have a few theories about reaching happiness, but let me preface by saying that I'm just writing my thoughts. I have not done any research, so, in essence, my theories could be pure bullshit and deemed as having little to no merit, but I think they make sense, so I digress.
With the media and social norms, it's a common misconception that money and a successful career lead to happiness, so, naturally, people chase what others do because they figure that since it's worked for others, then it'll work for themselves.

Personally, I tend to struggle with finding happiness. My music, for instance. Though I am touched when people tell me that they like my music or that it's helped them through a hard time, that is certainly not my goal. Honestly, when I write or record, the last thought in my mind is "I hope someone relates to this" or "I hope they like this." I do music because I like it. I like writing, I like flowing, I like the community. Shit, I don't even do it to express myself a lot of the time. So, if I like making music, but don't do it for approval, then how come I make it public and why do I second guess it if I get negative feedback or critique? If I didn't care, then it shouldn't bother me right? Wrong. It does, which leads me to believe that, when it comes to achieving happiness, there is no correlation between intention and result.

With all that said, what's the point of blogging my thoughts? Further, what do I wish to achieve by making them public? I hate to say it, but I think I'm at a point in my life where I need validation from literally everyone:

Plays to validate my talent. Sex to validate my beauty. Friends to validate my personality. Grades to validate my intellect. Pain to validate my sensitivity. Attention to validate my appeal. Worst of all, I need compliments to validate everything they're directed at.

Now, I usually couldn't care less about empty insults/threats or if someone doesn't like me, but I do get worried when I feel that the comments are backed with truth.

That's just how I feel and from this, I've come up with my hardest resolution for the new year:
Be good to myself.

If you guys agree/disagree with any of this or have any thoughts/anything to say, I'd love to hear it :)

"Sinful" update

2009-05-15T08:42:00.000-07:00

"Sinful" will be released June 22nd!

The online album's going to be free download on a brand new soundclick page, so you can download the tracks individually, so you don't have to download any songs you don't like.

I'm also ordering some hard copies, so those'll be available as well. The hard copies will have a 4 page booklet in addition to all the standard space, so there will be lots of badass artwork. Plus, I'll be able to put .wav files on there, so the sound quality of the tracks will be much better. Since it will cost me to have the hard copies pressed, I will have to charge $6, but that's under cost of production and includes shipping and handling, so it's still a very good deal. I'll put up a blog talking about the details when the album's released, but that's the overall plan right now.

Sinful's going to have about 16 songs and 2-3 interludes.

That's all for now. I'll keep you guys updated as teh timeline progresses :) Take care everyone.

Welcome

2009-05-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! I just want to welcome you all to my blog and thank you for checking me out. I have made a commitment to myself that I'm going to actually maintain this site, so I'll have a new blog everyday. Thanks for stopping by and be sure to check the music out at www.myspace.com/femminamusic

:)